It was one of those weeks. Not a bad one by any means, but one where I found my mind constantly drifting to Kansas and wishing. Wishing, wishing, wishing. Wishing we were there now. Wishing we could go back for Easter. Wishing we were close enough for me to load up and visit my mom over a weekend and make bits of crafty fun for a craft fair she is taking part in in May. Wishing we would be back and settled in time to have the baby. Lots of wishing – and all for things that aren’t going to happen.
As I type, tears flood my eyes. I’m not sure why really, but they do. It isn’t as though I am miserable…I’m not. Each day I have a lot of love and happiness in my life. A lot of things to be grateful for and smile about. Yet with every fiber of my being, I want out of here. I so desperately want to be where I consider home.
I have been completely and totally uninspired this week – in everything. I have taken photos, but each time I go to edit them, I get frustrated and quit. I attempted to sew burp cloths for the baby and once again got frustrated and quit. Same with designing the birth announcements. It seems as though everything I touch I hate. I know everyone gets into funks and has off weeks, and this was one for me.
We DID do all sorts of fun stuff {picked out fish, took Gentry to get her nails done at the salon, went to a spring training baseball game}, yet deep down I am simply unmotivated. I am hoping that next week brings a change of heart and pace around this house!
Here is a shot of me and Gentry girl after she had her fingers and toes painted Wednesday morning at the salon {which she loved but the workers were SOOO rude!}.
Off to put my littles in the tub – for the second time today. They have been playing hospital and have marker {blood} ALL over their faces and bodies!! It does look pretty cute, but they want it off!
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by Bethany
Oh girl..there are so many days where I wonder how much complaining I can do in one day. Seriously..a funk! I totally get what you are feeling. Being away from home is not fun when you are planning for a baby. But one thing I have realized in my MANY homes along the way: Home is where your love is. It is where you put those babies to sleep every night. It is where you have supper together. It is where you make memories. It won’t matter what state or city you are in, home is where Gentry and Huntler and Chris and Baby Thumper are. The memories you are making now will be looked back on with just as much love as if you were in Kansas. And when you finally do get to go back, you will look back at your time in AZ and realize that you DID it! You made it! Without obstacles in life, we would have nothing to be proud of ourselves for. Chin up girl! You get to see me in less than 2 weeks!
Oh sweetie! I’m so sorry you’re having a rough go of it right now. In time you’ll be here and you’ll look back and be amazed at how fast your time in Arizona sped by! It won’t be long and once that little one gets here time will FLY!
Hugs to you!
Oh my gosh!!! You totally took the words right out of my mouth! I am definitely in a funk right now. I don’t know what is wrong with me, but when you said “everything I touch I hate” that exact thought went through my several times over the past week! I feel like a bad photographer, a bad blogger, a bad crafter, etc. I told Brian this is just not going to be my year. I can already tell. At least you get to have a baby this year! That’s something to look forward to!
That picture of you guys is great
I totally know what you mean about a funk! My mom lives here, but the rest of my family is 12 hours away in Florida. I miss my brothers, SIL, and nephews greatly. I keep checking airlines for good deals, but we don’t live close to one of the airports that they serve. (hug!)
Thanks girls. I hate to complain, I do, but life isn’t always a bed of roses. I KNOW that things could be a million times worse and that my situation pales in comparison to that of many, but it still sucks. I feel like I have made the most of it, but I am more than ready to be done…to pack our house up and move. Having the baby and the fact that Huntler will be in kindergarten in August make that desire all the more real. Still crossing my fingers and hoping against hope but also trying to be realistic and not live in a dream world as that certainly isn’t good for any of us!
oh my dear B !! I just love watching you grow.. I sitting here with tears in my eyes also, knowing how much you want to be here in Kansas, but realize that no matter WHERE you are Life will continue on !! NO where is perfect, when you get back here, you’ll want to be there !! I would love to be there, for the upcoming photo shop event, I’m even here and don’t get to see your Mom and craft with her !! Ever think what it’d be like if life just stayed the same all the time? WELL with that thought enjoy the DAY !! Squeeze Thumper for me !! Still waiting for a Biddleville photo shoot !! Love ya
we too have had such a hard week. our little 13 month daughter was in the hospital because they thought she has pneumonia. thank God she didn’t, but two days in the hospital was horrible!